Today, I feel like a Jabez. Pain. Failure. Rejected. All the negatives. I mean, how can I keep failing and failing….since when did Esther mean Failure?? Everything seems to crumbles in just one minute, in one hour, in one day. Why? No matter how hard I try to be on top of everything, I still crumble, like crushed shortbread. Immediately, I send deperate emails to God questioning-cum-begging Him. Thank God for such mediums where you feel praying internally in frustration at my desk doesn’t just do, then I can post a request on Oh, that not enough, decided to fire too….and then googled letters to God. I mean, GOD, you have to hear me and turn things around. I cannot continue to live in failure. I cannot be degressing when everyone else is progressing.

Taking courage, I eventually told my bestie. I could sense disappointment, but still those words came out “I’m seriously baffled. I don’t know, but one thing I would say is all things happen for a reason, we may not see it now”. Sigh. Yes/No, I want to know God’s mind. Is it a test…but hey, God doesn’t include failure in His blessings? So is it a punishment?! Oh, I don’t know. One thing I want to know is that my life is right with God. At this point, my mind is clouded. But you see, encouragement comes your way whether you like it or not! Just sitting in gloom, waiting for something to besume me a bit on Twitter came three tweets of significance:

“Learn how to praise God for the fires in your life. They served you well.”-

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan @forbesthoughts
“I admire ppl who overcome.”@teracarissa

Thank God!!


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